6/19/2010 - Ultra Cuckolds brings you Vicki Chase — Funny how things change. There was a time when Chinese girls and black girls outlandishly pretended to be Hispanic, just so that niche in the porn market could build itself- if by no other means, artificially. Now you can't trip over a porn girl who isn't Spanish. Or so it seems. Despite the Anglo name, Vicki Chase is a hot blooded Latina, and growing up in her village she was known as "La Puta Enojada" - the mad bitch, a name that referred more to her sexual state of mind than some broad going around with a perpetual scowl on her face. Which means Vicki's willing to try anything scandalous, and if it means bedding down with cuckolds, she's all for it. Her first time was an accident of discovery. Vicki thought she was in a conventional threeway with Guy A and Guy B. Not exactly. Vicki got in the clinches with these pretty boys - the kind with the nice abs and tight asses who usually wind up hustling on Santa Monica Blvd. Instead of them admiring the cleft of Vicki's buttocks, though, they began posing for one other like the statue of David. Stupefied with lust, Vicki was dealt out of the hand as the trenches of their mouths suddenly ran with spit at the thought of dick. Insulted? Nah. Vicki thought what the fuck. Less work, just as much money. Though the guys now aren't as pretty.

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6/18/2010 - 5-Guy Cream Pie brings you Lyla Lei — Lyla Lei [the name translates as The Orchid of Paradise] comes from that primitive neck of the woods where they'd offer virgin girls as human sacrifice to appease the angry volcano gods. So with life being placed at that short of a premium, Lyla figured early that it wasn't a good idea to stay vaginally intact. Draw your own conclusions, but if you figured Lyla for the village slut, you wouldn't be sarong. An itinerant fisherman here, a medicine man there. Life was uncomplicated. Lyla's forays into premium sexual activity, however, grew when she met Lumbago the son of a village chieftain. Having inherited from his father an impulsive gene pool, Lumbago introduced Lyla to the equivalent of the gangbang with five being the sacred tribal number. All of them taking turns exploding in her smelled like bad seaweed, but Lyla got used to it. So by the time she was ready for the porn industry, Lyla had a pretty good head for the math. Plus she learned how to hold her breath.

6/15/2010 - Kick Ass brings you Felix Vicious — As Felix Vicious' eyes sparkled in the oily light of the novelty condom machine, we couldn't help but notice how, like the picture of Dorian Gray, she remains eternally youthful, an obvious fact that cries out from every pore, plane and curve of her delectable body. No need for a Hoover vacuum to suck out those wrinkles, no siree. No need to speed dial a primary care giver to change her diaper. While it's fair to say, we'll all be jackin' it to Felix for many years to come, maybe there's a downside. What if Felix struck a deal with the powers of darkness to stay that way forever while our balls shrivel to the size of raisinettes and the surge in our once proud manhood subsides like the flood waters in the Noah's ark story? Then it really wouldn't matter how erection-worthy Felix was. This is fucking depressing.

6/13/2010 - Specs Appeal brings you Monica Mayhem — Here's the thing about being cockeyed and having to wear glasses. Eye exams are quite inconsistent. For instance, our intrepid reporters uncovered the fact recently that luscious Monica Mayhem was wearing specs. No big deal there because hot chicks look even hotter in seductive eyewear. But here's where the international dateline comes into play. Being from Australia, Monica took her eye exam in the states and being Australian, she had difficulty reading the American charts. And so she was prescribed for lenses when, in fact, it was the language that presented the problem. Now, being as vain as the next chick, Monica squawked about what eyeglasses might do to her image. But the first time she had them on, a mugger drew a gun and wanted to sodomize her face down in a pile of garbage. Ordinarily that wouldn't have happened, but Monica drew the conclusion that it was her glasses that brought out the beast

6/10/2010 - 5-Guy Cream Pie brings you Lyla Lei — As an underprivileged child growing up in Peru, Lyla Lei would amuse herself by playing in old Incan graveyards. Lyla's one fervent wish was to have normal size feet, but Nature played her a dirty hand by giving her a size 4.5 and obvious limitations where she could shop for sandals. Which hardly mattered to Lyla whose next passion was group participation games. Draw and Quarter the Conquistador was a village crowd pleaser generally played with mind altering drugs, sharp objects and a bad attitude towards subjugation. As Lyla got older and realized men could be her friends and not the enemy, the games became more flirtatious and sexual in nature. One afternoon she caught escapees from a Federale prison squat pissing in an alleyway and she fell in love. Lyla's tormented young body screamed for a ribald encounter and she was accommodated. Even now when she aches for sex, her first thought is a chain gang.