6/09/2010 - Kick Ass brings you Simone — This tiny Puerto Rican fire bomb swallows vitamin enriched man-ade as well as anything that's over 80 proof. Through the teeth and past the gums, watch out stomach here it comes: it really makes no difference which of the two liquids you ingest because both are the corrosive vapor that eats away at furniture and clothes while sapping the spirit and consuming the soles of shoes. The poet of the streets, Balzac, once referred to jizz as the perfume from the sewers. Then, again, maybe he didn't, but it sure sounds authentic. And authentic is what you get with Simone.

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6/08/2010 - Inseminated by Two Black Men brings you Trinity Post — We introduced you to Trinity Post about a week ago concerning the same subject, and despite the flood of e-mail she received from, curiously, the same trailer park address [apparently it has Internet service], Trinity's continuing to explore the type of sexual hijinx that got Sammy Davis Jr. similar correspondence back in the 1960's. But don't take any of this as sly political commentary, because a more enlightened era encourages the likes of Trinity to go for it, spread her legs and be liberal in her thinking. If nothing else, curiosity is more the fact than indignation. Like, what does a black man smell like? Does his sack feel different than a white guy's? How about the aroma of his semen? And with two mammoth dicks prying you open simultaneously, do any of your vagina parts tend to shake loose and fall out? As we've said before, this is the age of enlightenment.

6/05/2010 - Ultra Cuckolds brings you Ruby Rayes — As long as the intoxicating Ruby Rayes keeps assuming that sexy, hunched up, chin on her knees, cutsie naked girl next door pose of hers, she can suck whatever kind of dick she wants. Interracial dick, terrorist dick, lupus dick, eggplant dick, tattooed white boy fag dick, it doesn't matter to us any more. We've stopped preaching from the pulpit, knowing that it's downright impossible to alter the course of a porn chick's spiritual destiny with false flattery or what could be considered well selected words of wisdom. And while we're on the subject, let 'em [including Ruby] fuck all the cuckolds they want. Go ahead, Indian tongue wrestle, exchange forbidden sphincter rituals, sniff-kiss a black man's balls, it's all the same to us.

6/03/2010 - Specs Appeal brings you Monica Mayhem — Porn chicks with physical and mental defects are God's way of telling a man he's got too much money. When the ultra hot Monica Mayhem hinted that she might need eye glasses, a fan who just happened to dabble in optometry for a hobby, got wind of it and volunteered to buy Monica a corrective lens manufacturing franchise. You might have read about it. Of course there were the usual strings attached because we are talking about porn chicks whose idea of barter is the exchange of functioning body parts for favors rendered. You can take this concept any of a number of ways, but all the said fan requested was a personal fashion show with Monica dolling up like a sexy corporate CEO. Frankly, had we been in a similar situation, the subject of nude Lasik surgery might have been thrown into the deal. But that's us.

6/01/2010 - Inseminated by Two Black Men brings you Trinity Post — Being the lithe and limber gazelle of the plains that she is, it wouldn't surprise us if Trinity Post wrote home to say she got fucked by a giraffe. Which is certainly not the case. Lovely Trinity, from all accounts, is still doing humans and apparently enjoys the interaction with her own species. Good for her, we say because you never know when fate or destiny is going to deal you the dirty hand and you wind up spending the remainder of your days with terminal ass rot or in a home for the criminally insane. Not that she's making up for lost time, because she's too young to have lost it, Trinity has taken a liking to the black man to the extent that two have become better than one in her sexual equations. Did Trinity learn math in Compton, Harlem or Detroit? That we don't know. But if she continues to play the roulette wheel of casual interracial insemination, Trinity will definitely have something to write home about, and it won't be concerning giraffes.